


Tricycle

by HerbertBest



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: ABDL, Diapers, Drunkenness, Infantilism, Injury, Injury Recovery, Insecurity, Middle Play, Multi, Nurse kink, Open Marriage, Polyfidelity, Wetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 10:17:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14767710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerbertBest/pseuds/HerbertBest
Summary: A sequel to Quirks.  When Sean and Holly take to Arin's style of "parenting", Dan begins to feel insecure about his worth as an abba.





	Tricycle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheseusInTheMaze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/gifts).



> Be sure to read [Quirks](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11387847), then [Something Weirder](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14172225) or this won't make sense! Thank you to onewarmline for beta!

“Wait, Arin likes to be choked?” 

Dan winced at his gossipy tone, knowing he sounded ridiculous and frankly a bit rude. “I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with that,” he added, trying to cover. 

Holly elbowed him in the side and he cringed, shooting her a look. She remained serene, tucking her arms around his long torso and burying her face against his back. He held his cell phone closer to both of them. “So then what happened?”

“Well, not to put too fine a point on it, he diapered me and we made out. Please tell me you don’t hate me.” Jack’s voice crackled, and Dan could hear him slipping into something – if not a headspace, then something just as vulnerable. He could see Jack worrying the inside of his lip between his teeth. 

“Aw, buddy, why would I hate you? We told you it’d be okay if you wanted to be together.” Dan’s voice took on affectionate daddy tones, and Holly kissed him between the shoulder blades. Neither of them were in headspace, both too tired to consider anything close to play so close to bedtime, but Dan was amazed by how easy it was for him to slip into that velvet bag, as if he’d been born to be somebody’s daddy.

Metaphorically. Not biologically. Although he was technically born with the ability to do both. The whole thing found him chasing his own tail and he tried to regain the plot and the conversation.

“We love you,” Holly said cheerily, because she always seemed to know what to say, a way of capturing the lightning of a moment in such an effortless way that Dan’s breath caught in the back of his throat.

“We love you,” he agreed with a smile. “As long as you and Arin keep using protection and whatever, you have your fun.” 

“Mmm, okay.” Jack took a deep breath. He slid out of headspace in an audible way, his tone perking up and brightening. “Are you doing your part and rogering Holly silly while I’m gone?”

“First of all, British much? But since you asked, I’m doing my part, and so is Ross.”

“Thank you for talking about me like I’m not literally right here,” Holly said. She nipped him, which was naughty and hot and, well, now his dick was paying attention.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Dan said, not thinking about what he was saying, the nickname he’d given her, until he’d already said it.

“Listen to Holly. She’s a strong independent baby who doesn’t need a mama,” said Jack wisely.

Holly groaned into Dan’s neck. “Oh my God, if you two keep talking like this, I’m getting up to be with the birds.”

“I’ll stop,” Dan promised. At that moment, Orph crawled onto his pillow and decided to sit on his head, earning an audible oof from Dan and a loud laugh from Jack. 

“Excellent comedic timing,” Dan said, pushing Orph’s tail out of his face. “Jack, are you going to be okay for the night?”

“I think so. Arin’s taking me out for sushi and a movie. Then there’s a show tomorrow, and we’ll be in LA after that.”

“We’re keeping the homefires warm for you,” Dan said. He realized that after Jack finished his weekend with them, he’d be all the way back to his own house across state. A sick feeling of loneliness swept through him, and he winced. 

“I promise,” Dan said sincerely, and Holly gave him a squeeze.

“Thank you,” said Jack. “My bottom will appreciate the heat.”

“So Arin’s not spanking your butt yet?” Dan asked, hoping he sounded casual.

“Not for my lack of trying!” Jack shouted, pretending Arin was off frame, which made Dan laugh so hard he gave himself the hiccups. 

“We have to go,” Holly said, grabbing the phone. “I need to burp Dan.”

“Oh my god,” Jack laughed as Dan frowned over her shoulder. “I love you both, and I’ll see you in a few days.” 

Holly blew Jack a kiss as he laughed on the screen and Dan hiccupped helplessly between laughs. He removed Orph from his face and placed the cat carefully on his pillow, where he stretched and curled up in that wonderful way cats could do that made them more popular online than any of the humans in his house. 

Thankfully, instead of going full mommy on Dan, Holly grabbed him a glass of ginger ale from the kitchen. Dan sipped it slowly, until his belly released the knot of air and he burped.

“Is baby all better?” she asked, in a tone more suited to Orph and Mojo than Dan. 

“You’re going to be mitted and go on time out next time you want to play,” he said, wrinkling his nose.

She grinned, lounging on her back. “You might have to make me,” she said, mock-simpering, making him laugh harder. 

“Okay,” he said, squeezing her ribs. “I declare today over. The phone is going off, and you and I are going to snuggle our butts off. Any objections?”

“Not one,” Holly yawned, cuddling up against him. 

She froze briefly in his arms when he rubbed her back. “I meant to tell you. Ross is supposed to be coming home early tomorrow morning. He might be downstairs when you wake up,” she warned.

“Oh,” Dan said. “That’s fine.” He and Ross hadn’t had an actual discussion about Dan’s relationship with Holly, or his relationship with Jack; he knew that Ross approved of the situation, but they hadn’t really talked about it. He and Ross were blood brothers, as close as they could be, but he had no idea how to explain the situation to him when he could barely understand it himself.

Holly made a snuffling noise against his neck and Dan sighed. He didn’t know what it was about her that could calm him down instantly. If ‘dadspace’ to him was the ability to solve problems and issues with his charges with full confidence, then his regular headspace cuddled up beside Holly was calming, mind-easing. It was the closest thing to free he could get without actually making out or being inside of her.

He yawned and pressed up to her, burying his face in her neck. It was the easiest thing in the world to close his eyes and fall asleep with her weight pressed to his heart.

*** 

He woke up eight hours later with one cat sitting on his head and another on his chest, both staring at him. Holly was looped about his midsection, her eyes closed tightly, making sleepy sounds. 

Dan reached up and gently removed Mojo from his face. “You cannot be hungry,” he mumbled quietly, gently pushing Orph off his chest for good measure. “We filled your bowl before we went to sleep.”

He got a displeased mrow in response, which woke Holly and made her look up at him, dreamy-eyed. “Mm-hi,” she muttered, making him grin. 

“Morning, princess,” he said, and he felt warm inside when her cheeks flushed. He reached to pat her bottom, only to remember that she hadn’t been dipped the night before. She didn’t object to the grope of her bare bottom, in any case.

“Morning,” she said, sitting up to stretch. She winced as her joints cracked, then glanced over her shoulder at the mass of Dan and cats. “We fed them last night, didn’t we?”

“Yep,” he said. “I fed them both myself. It’s not my fault they only want to eat the six choicest kibbles and shun the rest.” 

He sat up, patting each cat in turn, then kissed the tip of Holly’s nose. “Do you wanna go down dipped, sweetie?”

“Mm? No, not yet,” she said. “Maybe later? I’m not in the right space to be bratty right now.”

“Alright,” he said. He got up to let Holly dress in peace and herd the cats out the door, and took his customary left toward the bathroom door –

– and let out a shriek when Ross pulled it open from the other side, wearing nothing.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Dan yelped.

“Nice to see you, too, jerk,” Ross said with an eye-roll. “You’re the one who didn’t bother to fuckin’ knock. Holly told you I’d be home in the morning, didn’t she?”

“She did,” Dan confirmed, sounding rather defensive. “But she didn’t tell me you’d be in the shower.” He realized that was a stupid thing to say as he said it, but the words were just there now, being heard by both of them.

“I mean, people shower in their own houses,” Ross pointed out, more amused than annoyed. 

“If you want to get technical about it, I guess.” Dan couldn’t help but notice the little bruises left behind on Ross’ thighs as he wrapped himself in a towel, and then looked away. “Have a good time with Mistress…?”

“Mistress J,” said Ross, his voice a bit dreamy. “We had a great time. Anyway, Holly told me you’d be busy because you’ve got touring stuff, and Jack’s supposed to be back tomorrow.”

“Right,” Dan said. He continued to avert his eyes and stare at the wall until Ross was fully clad. There were just some things about your friends that you weren’t meant to see, unless you discussed it beforehand.

“Bathroom’s all yours, dear,” Ross said. He stood on his tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Dan’s cheek.

Dan squeaked in response, touching his cheek, and he laughed at Ross’ wicked grin as he headed downstairs.

*** 

Holly was bright-eyed by the time Dan returned, his mug full of coffee and his stomach roiling with emptiness. She made breakfast and tried to keep the two laughing, and Dan settled into the domesticity comfortably. It was easy to acclimate to the choke bruises on Ross’ neck and the pacifier he’d left on the counter as time passed. There was something easy and familial about hanging out with Ross that he couldn’t quite describe, something unspoken between them that neither had to quantify. 

Holly made them omelets and toast and cereal. Dan stuffed himself while they talked and laughed together, and he did the dishes afterwards. 

“So what’s the plan for Jack and Arin’s flight?” Ross asked, scrub-brush in hand. “Suzy told me she wanted to pick them all up and go out to eat, but I don’t know if you guys would rather be alone.”

“I’m fine with eating out,” Holly said. “We’ll have all weekend to play around if we want to.”

If? Dan had planned a hundred different scenarios in his head for Jack’s return. He watched Holly thoughtfully and wondered what she was thinking of, what she had planned – if anything. 

“They’ll be all jetlagged,” Holly continued. “But Dan’ll go shopping with me, won’t you? We’ll get some bibs and stuff.”

“Oh sure. I need to remember what you’re allergic to.” It was lucky that Dan wasn’t the little in this equation, because his poor stomach would have been a boiling mess of acid with the different kinds of food required for eating scenes.

Holly made a thoughtful noise. “Maybe we should find something inflatable we can use as a crib. Do you think we can find kiddie pools that are adult size?”

“Wow, that takes me back,” Dan said. “The last inflatable thing I bought was dick shaped. Can you believe it counts as a tax write-off?”

“More like a tax jerk-off,” Ross said, in an exaggerated bogan accent for reasons that weren’t abundantly clear.

Holly laughed her wild, wonderful laugh, leaning against Ross’ side and tilting her head up toward the lights. “You’re both something else,” she said, a light complaint delivered with a grin, one that made Dan flush from his side of the table. He may have been ‘abba’, but he was also still Dan, still blushing whenever a woman looked at him like that.

A little flash of jealousy streaked through him when Ross kissed Holly’s cheek and nestled his head beside hers. He reminded himself to get a grip and remember they were married; after all, it was Ross who was doing the sharing and allowing Dan into their lives. He shut his mouth and promised himself he’d behave – whatever they wanted, they could have, when he and Holly weren’t playing.

*** 

Holly was the one who suggested he dip her before they picked Arin and Jack from the airport. She had been so busy that she hadn’t been in the proper headspace for it; ultimately, they found themselves dating under relatively conventional circumstances. It was nice, but… a little boring.

Who could have imagined he’d ever consider going out on a ‘normal’ date boring? 

Not that Holly was boring, and not that he didn’t treasure every single second of being with her as if it were the last he was ever going to spend with anyone ever.

He was definitely chasing his own tail.

Just as they were getting ready to leave for the airport, Holly smacked him on the butt with a rubber basting brush. They’d been preparing dinner to have it warm and ready when they got back. He knew immediately that it was so on when she let out that wild birdlike trill that told him she was ready to play.

Holly – playful as she was, with her mischievous look and her enormous sweet eyes – laughed like a pirate when she flopped onto the bed. “Come on, abba – hurry up and dip me! We have to go get Jack before he and Arin run away without us!”

“They wouldn’t do that,” he told her, assembling all of the necessary materials. She pulled off her panties and lay there while he slid her onto the diaper and applied a coating of fancy powder, something Suzy bought her at Lush that was good if you liked to go commando.

It was kind of funny how much powder she needed, but Holly was very specific about liking a silky feeling between her and the inside of the thing. 

“You sure you wanna go out when you’re in headspace, baby?” Dan asked. 

“I’m sure,” Holly said firmly. She was always verbal when she was lost in the happy maze of her self-imposed youth; her mode as a little was volume all the way up at all times, unless he could convince her to sleep. 

“Jackie misses us, and I miss him. I’m just a bit...” She made a buzzy, crackling sound to indicate the fuzziness going on in her mind. “This’ll keep me calm while we deal with those two.” 

“You’ve got it, baby,” said Dan. After he dipped her, she dressed in something unusually bright – a tie-dyed dress and brown leather sandals, with a big wide white sun hat. She looked like someone timeless, as if she’d emerged fully formed from an old photograph. You could only hear the dip crinkling if you knew what to listen for, as Holly bent over to grab her purse and put her car keys and wallet away.

“Do I meet with your approval?” Strong witch that she was, Holly still liked to hear that validation from time to time.

“Stunning, gorgeous, incredible, adorable,” he told her earnestly. 

“You’re running out of adjectives,” she teased. 

“I can’t run out of adjectives about you. I’m a songwriter,” he said, the corner of his mouth quirking upwards. 

She stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, and then grabbed him by the hand to pull him off of the bed and toward the door. 

He did the driving as she floated peacefully through the LA afternoon. She only sucked her thumb once during the whole ride. He was proud of her.

*** 

Jack was tired-eyed when Dan saw him for the first time. “Hey, buddy,” he cooed, wrapping both arms around him and giving him a huge bear hug. 

Jack squirmed, even as he hugged back. “Gah, I need air!” he said, and then groaned when Dan surreptitiously patted his bottom. “Really now? I’m dry, I swear.”

“It’s my right as an abba to check,” Dan said, earning a blush from Jack.

“Well, I’m dry thanks to Arin.” Jack leaned in and whispered, “He asked me to pee on him this morning. I’ve never seen a man come so hard.”

“Aw shit, get down with your kinky selves,” Dan teased, earning yet another wild laugh from Holly. When she leaned over Dan to hug Jack, he seemed to notice the extra padding and tugged down his hoodie a hair. 

Dan knew the signs, had danced that dance so many times himself. He winked at Jack, earning him a roll of the eyes as he shuffled his feet.

Arin arrived a minute later, his jeans suspiciously wet at the crotch and his eyes just as tired as Jack’s were, but he was visibly more happy. “Hey man, how’s it going?” he asked Dan, squeezing him hard and quick.

“Going,” Dan said. He hugged Arin hard, as if he‘s been gone for years and not ten days, the warmth and joy that lived between them flowing like wine. 

He stood back and peered into Arin’s face. He looked more disheveled than he usually did on a travel day. “Did you get out of the shower and on the plane without stopping?”

Arin flushed. “I might have asked Jack pee on me this morning, so I had to wash my clothes in the hotel sink. I don’t smell, do I?”

“No worse than usual,” Dan confirmed.

Arin snorted. “Dude, we’ve got so much to talk about. Out of office business, I mean.”

“Right, sure,” Dan said. He felt extremely abashed in the moment all of a sudden. He wasn’t used to discussing the whole thing he had going with Holly and Jack. He could barely bring himself to discuss it with Ross, who was intimately involved in the situation, in a manner of speaking. 

But Arin smiled and held Dan’s hand, so it was hard not to simply, comfortably, allow him into the conversation.

Arin was watching Jack and Holly cavort as they grabbed up the luggage and walked away from the arrival gate. “Jack is fucking adorable. No wonder you’re so hot for him.”

“It’s not just his hotness. It’s… a lot of stuff,” he said. Jack and Holly were holding hands across the way, their arms freely swinging, and all he wanted to do was run up to them and join in. Maybe that’s really all that love meant in the end, when push came to shove. “The hotness doesn’t hurt, admittedly.”

“Yeah, we’ve tried some of that... ‘stuff’,” said Arin, a touch awkwardly. “It was good.”

Jack could hear them, clearly; he grinned and winked at Arin, which made him flush a little, looking down at his own shoes. 

It was enough to stoke a little ember of insecurity in Dan’s churning stomach. What was this chemistry between Jack and Arin? Why had it sprung up seemingly out of the blue, the second he was out of the way? Did Jack like messing around with Arin more than he liked messing around with Dan and Holly?

Was he a bad abba?

Was he being a neurotic mess? 

Well. That went without saying, Dan supposed. He shouldered Arin’s bag and said, “we’ll get coffee after work. I’ve got a lot going on.”

“Right!” Arin said, too brightly. “Of course. No big.” He suddenly didn’t want to talk about what was happening either, it seemed. At least Dan wasn’t alone in his hopelessly awkward whirlpool of self-accusation. 

“Who wants Sonic?” Dan asked. 

Holly and Jack happily shouted their agreement with the idea, almost cartwheeling their way toward the parking lot. 

“Yes!” Jack yelled, and then winced when he realized he’d given himself away and a group of excited kids came racing up to him. He bent to sign every single one of their autographs while chatting away, occasionally glancing at Dan and Arin and Holly nearby.

“You owe me a huge shake for making me wait,” Holly whispered into Dan’s ear.

He shuddered in contentment; there was his Birdie under it all, halfway in headspace, halfway out of it, and yet somehow utterly and completely a hundred percent Holly.

 

*** 

They ate huge burgers, a rarity for Dan, who put aside his diet for the sake of indulging in some red meat. It settled well enough in his stomach, and Holly managed to find some fried fish to eat with her strawberry soda and hand cut fries. Jack animatedly filled them in on the trip, with Arin interjected when needed, mostly ‘yeahs’ and other affirmations. 

Suzy called them from the house, and she waved at them all from under a blanket fort; she was still suffering from a nasty infection that Arin was to pick up precautionary antibiotics for on his way home. As they talked, Dan wondered what Arin would tell her about her the whole diaper thing – the whole ABDL thing. 

Would he ask Suzy if she was interested in bibs and plastic pants? Would she be grossed out, no longer recognizing the man she’d married? Would she start getting dipped up in pink coveralls and batting her made-up eyes at him? Would she get involved with Ross’ Mistress as some kind of weird form of revenge? Would that mistress kick the shit out of him for breaking some kind of kinkspace Geneva Convention about including all of one’s partner’s partners in kink negotiations?

Dan blinked himself out of the thought spiral and tried to rejoin the conversation.

“…So we’re all gonna go to the movies and then we’re going to the arcade,” Jack said. “And Holly’s promised us dinner.”

“It’s in a crockpot,” Holly said. “It’s been cooking on low since this morning, so it should be really yummy! Dan helped, and he did a really good job.”

Dan beamed at her. He couldn’t help but feel a little puffed up whenever Holly complimented his cooking.

“Right now, let’s get Arin to the pharmacy and all dropped off at home,” he said. “I bet he’s been waiting to see Suzy.”

“Fuck yeah,” Arin said. His voice was notably eager, and Dan could only shake his head. Maybe the old adage was true about some things never changing – Arin and Suzy certainly never did.

He reached for Jack’s hand and gave it a quick squeeze, and felt relief when he squeezed it right back.

*** 

One trip to the drugstore later, they were at the arcade, and Dan pretended not to notice when he saw a flash of Holly’s dip as she bent over

“Still dry?” he whispered into her ear.

“Yep, and if you check in public I’ll pinch you in a very rude place when you’re not looking,” she said sweetly.

“As you wish,” said Dan, and tried not to look overly pleased by his dated reference. 

Holly just giggled, then deliberately flashed him some dip as she bent over and plucked a coin into the crane machine. She scored a stuffed rabbit while Dan and Jack played air hockey, then joined them in playing a couple of rounds of ski-ball. Jack was the best at it, and bragged when he won himself a stuffed frog. On their way to the movies, they managed to keep fully out of headspace until they were in the dark confines of the theatre.

Jack was so transfixed by the movie that not even he noticed when his dip sprung a leak. Dan wouldn’t have noticed himself unless he hadn’t picked up a slight whiff of pee over the smell of popcorn; Jack’s jeans were too dark, and he wasn’t about to make a fuss when he was being quiet and transfixed for once. 

He was lucky he had the diaper bag still with him, packed and slung backpack style along his shoulder, looking like many other bags he’d carried with him in many other cities during his life. While those had mostly held dirty shirts and his CD collection, this one was filled with diapers, powder, bottles of juice and pacifiers. He’d carried it inconspicuously throughout the journey and was a bit relieved all the effort hadn’t gone to waste. Thankfully the mall was almost deserted on this Tuesday afternoon, leaving him plenty of room to indulge the three of them in this kink.

So in the nearly empty theatre, when he leaned closer to Jack, he didn’t bother to He leaned over and whispered in Jack’s ear. “Hey buddy. Want to go get changed?”

“Oh, um. Yeah,” Jack said. Holly snickered when they got up, and Dan made a gentle, disparaging noise at her too-typical show of brattiness. He might have to teach her a lesson when they got back home.

But first things first. Dan held Jack’s hand all the way to the men’s room, and then blocked off the door with his foot. There, they managed to strip off his miraculously still-dry jeans and pull off his boxer shorts and diaper, both of which were wet. Jack didn’t mind losing his boxers to the trash, or leaning against the sink while Dan cleaned him up and tended to his overspill. 

“I didn’t think I was in that deep,” he sighed. Dan murmured his agreement quietly, wiping Jack with baby wipes until he was clean and smelled like an adult. Jack went to pee while Dan laid the diaper and powder out quickly, then dried him up until he was fresh-smelling and clean. He put Jack in the diaper and helped him get his jeans back on, as Jack blushed the whole time.

Dan had no idea why Jack felt so bashful about the situation. He had peed himself once, albeit in a different headspace – the drunk twenty year old kind. To Jack’s credit, he only leaked a little bit, and that was right after the movie. 

“I am burning these when we get home,” Jack whispered, as they left the bathroom together.

“You mean abba’s going to burn them,” said Dan cheerfully. “You don’t get to play with matches.”

“I do so,” Jack said cheerfully, sounding for all the world like his voice would crack. Dan squeezed his slim shoulder gently. Back in the movie, Holly was sucking her thumb while staring fixedly at the screen and they rejoined her. Alone in the empty theatre, they watched the Avengers swoop across a ruined city and let the mindlessness of the moment wash over all of them like a warm, soothing wave.

**** 

After they got home and had a good, long talk, Dan mitted Holly up and tied her hands together with nylon rope. He pulled her pretty sundress off but left her in her diaper, then dug through the bedside drawers until he found a very large vibrator. It was a Hitachi, and it would have scared Dan to use on anyone as a rule, but it was Holly’s own toy. They locked eyes and she bobbed her head.

Under the toy was a rope harness, one roughly Holly’s size. It took some negotiating, literally and otherwise, to get everything in its proper place, but soon the vibrator was pressed against the crotch of her diaper.

“Abba,” Holly whined. “I promise I’ll be good! Don’t leave me here all alone!”

“Sorry, sweetie – you were a naughty girl and disobeyed me an awful lot today. This is what happens when to birdies who sass their abba and Jackie,” he said. “He couldn’t help that he had an accident.”

The vibrator revved up and Holly let out a squeal when Dan pressed it harder against her. He kissed her forehead and her blotchy cheeks before he left. “The safe word,” he said, “is pigeon. Come on, Jack – time to have some ice cream!”

“Oh boy!” Jack said, piling on as hard as he could, earning himself a murderous glare from Holly. Soon her legs were shaking and her eyes were shut, the vibrator taking its toll.

Holly’s whining had turned to moaning by the time Jack and Dan closed the door behind them. 

*** 

Jack was out of headspace by the time he and Dan finished their treat. “Why don’t I help you with the dishes while you check on Holly’s crock pot?” Jack asked. “I owe her after slipping in so deep today.”

“Wow, that was super daddy of you,” Dan observed. His belly was full of chocolate, so he wasn’t inclined to disagree with Jack.

Jack shrugged. “I do feel a bit daddy sometimes, but I never know when to apply my daddying. When I’m not peeing myself, I suppose.” 

Dan hummed and listened to water rush into the sink. The domestic silence of the scene was punctuated oddly by Holly’s moaning and her high-pitched cries. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” he reminded Jack.

“Oh, I wanted to be ashamed,” said Jack. He finished cleaning out the ice cream dishes. “That’s part of why I love this. And besides, the shameful feeling never really lasts for long, and after it’s over I get to have fun!”

“I can relate,” Dan said. Though to be honest, his own kind of kink was a little different from Jack and Holly’s point of view. That, he supposed, was just another part of human variance. 

Then a loud clatter came from the bedroom. “Pigeon!” Holly shouted from within. “Pigeon!”

Dan raced to the bedroom. Holly was flopping around on the bed, eyes clear as day, out of headspace and unable to get her hands free. He quickly untied the bonds and reached down to turn off the vibrator.

By then Holly had left a large wet spot on the bed, and her diaper was soaked through with squirt. He unmitted her, and she pulled it off herself.

“Are you okay?”

She nodded. “It was just too…” Her fingers wiggled. “Too much. I can’t feel my toes anymore.”

“Aww, I’m sorry,” Dan said, as he kissed her sweaty face. 

She pushed him away lightly. “I just don’t want anyone to touch me for a little while, okay?” she said. 

Dan nodded and busied himself doing everything but: setting out fresh pajamas, bringing in clean sheets from the linen closet. Jack came in and helped as well, taking the wet sheets down to the laundry room, and then returned to the kitchen to stir the contents of the crockpot.

“We’re gonna have dinner soon,” he said soothingly. “Do you think you’re gonna be up to it?”

“Call me when it’s soon.” She gathered the quilts up and pulled them over her head, rolling up into a ball under the warmth.

“Sure,” Dan said, trying to sound even-keeled even as worry crept up on him. Had he messed up?   
Would she tell him off?

Was he being melodramatic again?

“Abba!” Jack called. “Would you like biscuits with this chicken stew?”

“Oh sure. I’ll come make them.” Dan rubbed his arms, even though he wasn’t cold. “You need anything else, Hol?”

A snore was the only response from the bed.

He laughed and blew her a kiss, and headed into the living room to make sure Jack didn’t need any further instruction from him.

*** 

Holly stumbled into the room a few hours later and sleepily fumbled through the refrigerator. 

“How are you doing, sweetie?” he asked her lightly. The Halloween remake was on TV, and Jack had fallen asleep with his head on Dan’s shoulder, dozing away as he muffled his own screams into the lee of his own elbow.

“Mmph,” Holly said. She grabbed the carton of orange juice and chugged from it. “How did the stew turn out?”

“Perfectly. It’s still in the crock pot on low if you want some.”

Holly opened the cupboards and grabbed a bowl and a glass for the juice. She smiled at the plate of biscuits they’d baked and took two of those, too. She sat across from Dan in an easy chair and ate ravenously.

No one made a sound until the front door opened and Ross entered. He winced at the way the sound of his jingling keys filled the silence. “Sorry, I tried to be quiet,” he said.

“It’s OK,” Jack said, yawning hugely. “Dan, can you gimmie a lift back to my hotel?”

“Of course.” Dan stood up, cracked his bones, and ambled over to Ross. “Hey man,” he said, wrapping both arms around Ross’ shoulders. “I love you.”

“Aw, I love you too,” he said. “Is something going on with Holly?”

Dan looked back over his shoulder and saw that Holly had quietly slumped face-first into her elbow, next to her bowl of stew. “We had a big day,” he said. “What about you?”

“This and that,” said Ross evasively, but he was grinning rather toothily. “Are we all on for brunch tomorrow?”

“Definitely,” Dan said. He hugged Ross again and blew a kiss to Holly. “C’mon Jack, let’s get you home before you fall asleep on your feet.”

“Night guys,” Jack said, yawning as Dan helped him out the door. 

Holly vaguely waved at them both as they left. Dan pretended she wasn’t trying to flip him off with her free hand, although he couldn’t have proved it one way or the other.

*** 

They met the next morning for a full brunch buffet. Holly had picked the place and Dan was almost giddy at the deliciousness on display. There were waffles bigger than his head lying on his plate. It smelled so good he almost wanted to make out with it.

Holly seemed a little less logy as she sipped her tea and kept nibbling away at her vegan pancakes and soy bacon. She also didn’t seem too sore about his teasing, though she did occasionally shoot him looks over the table, squeezing his knee and skating her fingertips over the top of his own hand.

He had no idea if she’d actually accepted her punishment. In fact, it kind of felt like she was trying to torture him from a distance.

But she wasn’t, was she? After all, he was her very kind, some might say lenient, abba.

Ross was smug as could be sitting beside her; his arm was looped backwards and around her lightly but not possessively. Dan could still see the handcuff bruises on his wrists. He must have had fun the night before. 

“Well,” Jack said suddenly, leaning back in his chair, “after I finish my tech rehearsal, who wants to go sightseeing? I’ve only been to Disneyland once, y’know.”

“Well shit, I’ll take you,” Ross said. “There’s a new restaurant that opened at Pixar Fest that I haven’t been to yet.”

“Sounds marvelous,” Jack said. “I’ve got something else on my brainmeat, but I’ll have to talk to Holly and Dan about it later.”

Dan raised an eyebrow when his name came up. He hadn’t really been paying attention – mostly because Holly was squeezing his leg under the table. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Jack said, grinning toothily. He sipped the rest of his hot chocolate down and picked up his fruit dish.

“How very not suspicious at all,” remarked Dan. But Jack kept on eating, and he stayed quiet in return. 

He was mentally planning the studio time with Brian when Holly’s unsubtle little fingers found his fly. He choked on his toast, and she slapped him on the back. Ross gave them both worried looks. 

“Little dry,” Dan wheezed, and sucked down water until his throat felt human again. Beside him, Holly peeled open his fly and groped him through the thin layer of cotton and denim. She wasn’t touching his bare dick, just stroking his bulge with the tips of her fingers. Her focus was on Ross as he talked about the progress on his latest animatic. 

Dan got harder and his face got redder. He kept stress eating as he got more and more aroused, and Holly kept playing with him. By the time he was ready to burst, she pulled his cock out and dropped her napkin on the floor as cover.

“Oops,” she said guilelessly, and slipped under the table.

She’s not going to–

Holly took the napkin from Dan’s lap and gently wrapped it around his cock, and began to gently stroke it with the silky material. Dan swallowed a gasp, feeling pleasure spark from his toes to the roots of his hair. He managed to keep what he thought was a reasonably good poker face as he felt himself getting closer.

“Having problems down there?” Ross asked, tilting his head to look.

“Nope! I think there’s a mess on my skirt,” she said. Her voice was one hundred percent innocent, which was impressive given the circumstance. Dan moaned through his nose, which sounded appallingly squeaky.

Seconds passed like hours and his heart raced as the stroking got faster. His toes curled and he closed his eyes as his cock stiffened and spurted into the napkin. He flexed his dick in her grip, praising her ability without words. After three hard, sharp little throbs, Holly let his dick go and wadded the napkin in her hand. She emerged and sat down with a sigh. 

“Well, I rubbed it with a napkin, and now it’s all sticky,” she said. “I’ll just throw this out. No sense in making the waitress deal with it.” 

Ross nodded and shrugged, but Jack’s apple-cheeked, blushing visage showed that he absolutely knew what – or who – was coming.

“You’re so thoughtful, Holly,” he said, husky-toned.

“I try,” she said, finishing her juice. She kissed Ross’ cheek and then leaned into Dan’s shoulder. “Abba,” she breathed into his neck, so softly he almost didn’t trust his own hearing but for the goosebumps. He felt soft-boned and dizzy from the release but tried his very best not to show it.

He vowed then and there to giving Holly goosebumps in return. It was only fair. 

*** 

Disneyland was one of Dan’s favorite places in the world, but the summer sun was perilous and meant he had to be careful. He dove between enclosed rides and restaurants, letting Jack and Holly get custom mouse ears by themselves, and riding the Dumbo Ride and Splash Mountain and the Ferris Wheel with them – anything that was properly shaded and allowed him to avoid overheating.

His underdeveloped sweat glands were a total bitch, but it was better to be safe than sorry when you had to deal with a body like his. 

Holly found him sitting next to the ice cream bar and made soothing sounds of support, wrapping her arms around him. “We got you matching ears,” she said. “Jack suggested Donald Duck hats, but I thought you’d like something glittery a little better.” 

She smiled brightly and pulled a Mickey beanie from the shopping bag she’d been carrying along with her. Dan’s eyes widened as it came to the light – it was golden, and the light caught it no matter how he held it. His name had been carefully stitched in white – Danny. 

She kissed his cheek. “That was easier than ‘Abba’.” she explained. “People might think I was really into Swedish pop.”

Dan giggled. “I mean, no judging here.” Plonking the hat on his head, he patted the spot beside him on the bench, and Holly cuddled up to his side. “You look nice today, birdie.” 

She did, in her oversized cropped tees and black tights. How she managed not to sweat herself to death in a getup like that, Dan had no idea.

Literally, he had no idea how people controlled their body temperature. 

“Thank you,” she said. “So what do you think Jack wants to surprise us with?”

“Maybe he’s found a new source for dips? Wants to try a special scene?” 

“Maybe. You don’t think he wants to call it quit, do you?”

Dan frowned, and all of his anxieties came welling up. What if he was a bad abba? They’d tell him, wouldn’t they? Maybe that’s what Jack wanted to do. “He seems happy. Right?”

“I think so,” said Holly. She didn’t have the ability to read what was going on in Jack’s head any more than Dan did. “I know he had enough fun yesterday at my expense.” 

“I thought you weren’t feeling sassy about that anymore,” he said. “Unless that’s why I got that totally rocking public handjob. In which case, please continue to feel sassy.”

Holly snorted. “Partly,” she said. “I’m going to go try to find out what Jack’s hiding. Ross is in the bathroom, but he told you to buy a soda and stay cool.”

“Yes, birdie.”

They caught up with Ross a few minutes later, and they spent a few minutes riding the merry-go-round at Cindarella’s Castle. Dan survived the entire production well enough; he was only a little bit dizzy. Then he gathered Holly and Jack up, and together they watched the Main Street Parade, wearing their hats, delighting in their goofiness. 

At one point, he patted both of their bottoms. Bone dry. 

It was a good day to be an abba.

*** 

Jack’s show went off without a hitch that night. Dan watched Vernon scrabble through the audience to grab fan questions and laughed when a dirty-minded older woman asked him about his saggy pants. 

He leaned into Holly’s side, and she leaned into Ross. It felt very Three Musketeers all of a sudden as they watched the man they admired knock ‘em dead. 

Dan was also aware of Arin watching from the stage, as they sat and watched Jack. He and Arin would have to have that real talk soon, away from everyone else, about the fact that they both had a vested stake in Jack’s life.

How would Jack want to handle that? Hell, Dan didn’t even know how he wanted to handle it, where the line was between being affectionate and being protective. But he trusted Jack to set the boundaries he needed.

Those thoughts kept bouncing around in his head as he gave Jack a big bear hug backstage. Jack was laughing, grabbing and pulling on him. When he released Jack and wrapped his arms around Holly, he heard Arin’s voice behind him, firm but discreet.

“Hey, can we take a walk in a little bit?” Arin’s eyes darted between Jack and Holly, to Dan’s face, implying more than he said.

“Yeah, of course, man,” said Dan. Once Arin was done with his backstage duties, they walked through the night air to a tiny park near the theatre and sat down together on a concrete bench. 

“Okay,” Arin said, “so I was wondering… Well, not really another way to say it. How do you feel about me being Jack’s big sometimes?”

A needle sharp pain shot through Dan’s belly; Arin might as well have called him inadequate in not so many words. He didn’t know how to respond, so he let the question wash over him while Arin’s face turned more and more anxious in response.

“It’s okay If you don’t want me to be involved,” Arin said, clearly trying to backpedal. “I know it complicates things and I don’t want to put stress on your relationship. Relationships? Your thing. Your steez.”

“No!” Dan squawked out. “I mean. No is the wrong word. if you and Jack are cool then I’m cool with you doing the thing. That’s between you guys.”

Arin frowned. “I’m not, like, trying to replace you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“It’s not that,” Dan lied. “I’m just…worried about a lot of things. I want to keep Jack and Holly happy, and it’s hard to know if I’m doing everything right – anything right. Holly and Ross live together and they’re in love, and I worry about stepping all over their marriage. Jack’s so busy doing stuff because he’s so popular and he always wants to do bigger, newer things. How the hell do I know if I’m doing it right if I can barely get him on the phone, let alone in the same room?” 

Dan sighed, looking up at the starless LA sky, too much light pollution between him and the stars. “Not to mention all of the stuff we have to keep secret to stop fans from asking us weird questions. Holly met a guy at a munch and he tried to get us involved in the diaper pride movement–”

“Wait, the what?” 

“It’s a long story. I’m just… a little tightly wound,” he admitted. “And you and Jack had such a good time, I don’t wanna make things weird.”

“You? Tightly wound? Perish the thought,” said Arin. “Look, Jack and I are kind of taking it slow and whatever we have won’t wreck what you guys have going on. If I cross any lines, I want you to let me know.”

Dan nodded. “I guess I’m not as used to this as I pretend to be. Six months ago I thought I was like, the most straight guy in the history of the world. Here I am months later, sitting here with you talking about who has the right to diaper our mutual friend.”

“Sometimes shit’s just like that, man,” Arin said with a knowing smile. “You know as well as anyone how weird life can be. So, look – I’m gonna let you guys go to that pub Jack wanted to go to. Me and Suzy have a massage appointment and then we’re gonna eat in with the cats. I won’t be in your hair tonight.”

“Ar, I don’t want you to feel–” Dan began. 

“No, don’t worry about it,” said Arin. “You guys have your fun. It’s gonna be alright.” He stood up and grabbed Dan’s hand, pulling him to his feet.

“Thanks, Ar. You know I love you, right?”

“I do,” Arin said. “And I understand how weird it all is, so I’m not gonna make a huge deal about everything being a little off-center. We’ll get through it all side by side.”

Dan smiled, squeezing Arin’s hand before letting go. “Thanks.”

“You never know, man. Maybe someday you’ll feel comfortable enough to let me take care of them with you.” 

Dan turned an interesting shade of pink and said nothing as they went back into the theatre, but he considered the idea all the way to the pub. By the time he got there, Holly was already a little drunk, her arms around Jack’s neck, her hand on Ross’ crotch. He’d never seen her completely drunk before, and he couldn’t keep a straight face when she sauntered up to him.

“Heyyy baby. Are you enjoying your beer?”

Dan was, actually. He was reasonably sure it was a lager, and it tasted pretty good; it’d have to, since it would probably be his only one. He was also still worrying about the idea of sharing his littles with Arin, but she didn’t need to know about that problem until they were all together in the same room and on the same page. 

He could smell the beer under notes of her amber-heavy, swamp witchy perfume. “You,” he said, “are so drunk.”

She laughed. “I earned it after yesterday. And I think Jack’s been hinting he wants to have a big talk – not capital B big, you know, like, in size – so I’m like… flying around without wings.”

It was a very Holly metaphor. Dan bent at the waist and kissed her cheek. “Are you holding up okay?”

“Mmm-hmm,” she said. She leaned right up against him, and yawned. “I don’t know if I’m in the mood to hear Jack’s thing. Don’t really want those, whadaya-call-ems. Feels.”

“Understood,” Dan said. He was wondering if she was planning something, sneak in a blowjob or something equally inventive while Ross and Jack were across the room playing darts. Every few minutes a roar would go up from the group they’d managed to assemble, and one particularly loud shout made Holly squeak and grab Dan’s forearm hard.

Then he saw her face squinch up, and a look of embarrassment fill her features. He could practically hear her filling the diaper. Okay, not literally, and he couldn’t smell anything either. But he knew that face; he could tell when Holly was losing control of herself. 

Holly turned beet red and rubbed her blotchy cheeks with the back of her thick sweater cuff. “Do you think you could, uh… help me change?”

Dan weighed his options. The bar bathroom was small as hell, and probably not that clean. “Maybe we could do it in the back of my car?”

“Ooh, sexy,” Holly leered. Dan couldn’t stop himself from laughing out loud at her ridiculous expression. 

**** 

There was something peaceful about changing her outside, under the moonlight where nobody else could see them. Also, there were a lot of convenient dumpsters nearby, which meant he didn’t have to go searching around for someplace to pitch an adult diaper that be reasonably discreet.

That was the last thing he wanted to read about himself on Reddit.

“You won’t tell Jack this happened, will you?”

“Even though you deserve it when you were so bratty yesterday?” Dan smiled, opening up a little portable bottle of talc and dusting it across her bottom. He might have put extra powder on her just to act as a provocative tease, so she’d feel the silky brush of it across her body and think of him. 

“Especially because of that,” she said.

“I’ll think about it,” Dan said.

She glared up at him, her expression still intensely bleary thanks to the amount of booze she’d sucked down. “Dan, I’ll beg. Would you like me to beg? You seem to be the kind of guy who’d rather be down on his own knees, but maybe if I bat my eyelashes…”

He slapped her bottom and encouraged her to roll onto her back so he could finish the process of diapering her up. “I promise I won’t bring it up unless he asks,” Dan said.

“Right,” she said. Kicking against the sky, she closed her eyes and let out a little, quiet, muffled sigh. “I think everything’s going to be getting even weirder soon. At least I’m braced for it this time.”

“Well,” Dan said. “At least you’re all fixed up for the rest of the day. If you don’t pee yourself again, at least. Go be a big girl.”

She grinned and wiggled for him one more time. “But you like it so much when I’m bad, abba.”

He coughed and blushed. Yeah, he did – in all of the ways she meant. “We’ll talk about this later, young lady,” he said, trying to affect a dadly tone. He fastened the tabs of her diapers and washed his hands with some hand sanitizer before repacking his diaper backpack.

“Good,” Holly said. She sat up and brushed down her skirt and wiggled about, making sure she hadn’t left any wet spots on the inside of his car. “I’ll see you later, abba!”

“Hey, wait for me!” Dan called after her. He managed to shove everything back together and lock the door behind him, and caught up with Holly right by the pub’s back door. He swept her up quickly in a deep, bone-melting kiss and let out a little sound of happiness when she relaxed into his chest. There were some moments that were incomparably sweet. He wanted to savor every second of their closeness, the warmth of Holly’s tongue, the nearness of her, but there wasn’t much time between heartbeats; the door swung open and they pushed away from each other.

The drunken man staggering past them didn’t make much note of their guilty faces – he headed to the side wall, leaned against it and began to drunkenly puke.

“Ooh-kay,” Dan said, pushing Holly through the back door. Inside, Ross sunk a dart to the center of the board, to the happy shouts of the patrons within. 

“Saved by the thock,” Dan whispered in Holly’s ear. 

She giggled in spite of herself and leaned back into the comfort of his touch. 

*** 

A few minutes later, while Ross was paying off their tab, Jack gathered Dan and Holly close. “So. The tour’s going to be extended by another three weeks.” 

Holly let out a groan of dismay, and Dan found himself frowning enormously at the idea. “I’m sorry, man. I know you were looking forward to going home for awhile. Won’t your family freak out if you don’t visit quarterly?” The Avidan clan was like that – closely knit, perhaps guilt-trippingly so, from time to time.

Jack’s eyes were downcast. “Eh, they’ve adapted well enough to me living outside of Ireland. They’ll understand. But,” he added quickly, “I’m going to have to do a lot of moving and packing up house when I get home. It’s going to take me six months after the tour to get my shit together.”

“Is your shit ever together?” Dan asked.

Jack batted his lashes at Dan. “Well, abba, you’d know more than most, wouldn’t ya?”

“You are the fucking worst,” Dan said with a grin, “and you always will be.”

“Thank you,” Jack beamed. “And with that settled, I do believe that I’m going to sleep on Holly and Ross’ couch tonight. Don’t think I could truck my arse down a hotel hallway if ya paid me, and I’m gonna be on a bus to Portland too early.”

“Am I literally the only sober-ish person left in this whole group?” Dan asked.

“Congratulations to abba, tonight’s designated driver,” said Holly. She leaned against the backrest of their booth. “My head is starting to do that throbby thing.”

“I’m sorry, Hols,” Jack said, and briefly kissed her temple. Dan kissed the other one, and could smell the baby powder and perfume melding sweetly on her skin. He had to hold himself back from taking a nibble of her skin and leaving behind marks. 

Ross arrived to save him from his naughtier instincts, although he didn’t know it. “Are you guys ready to head out?”

“Seems like,” Dan said. “I’ll do the driving. At least I know one of us is still high and dry.”

He stoically ignored the pinch that Holly took out of his butt in response to his insolence.

*** 

Weeks passed, in the way they often do. Dan, Holly and Arin were sitting at Holly’s kitchen table, huddled around Dan’s phone. Jack was onscreen, and they were all sharing a Skype call as Jack flipped through his photobook. 

Jack was rambling happily. “And here’s the Seine at sunset… We went to the movies and played in this huge arcade and ate the best food I’ve ever had in my life...”

Dan laughed. “Even better than Holly’s cooking? Color me skeptical, dude.”

Jack laughed. “I love you, Hol, but you don’t use any butter!”

Holly made a defensive sound. “I’d rather not hurt cows than titilate your tastebuds,” she said.

“Milking doesn’t hurt the cows,” Dan said. He was using his wise abba voice and she sighed and listed into his shoulder. “It helps them feel better, because their udders are so full.”

“I know, Dan,” Holly groaned. “I’m not three.” 

“I just thought I’d say,” he replied. He kissed the crown of her head and she snuggled into his side. She let out a sigh and cuddled up. Dan was thankful they didn’t have any elaborate plans for the day, just to get through it and snuggle up in bed to watch old movies. He’d been driving himself up the wall planning the next NSP tour and finishing off the album, and then the emotional stress of Jack being gone had sunk in. Holly had been busy too, with her cosplay and her commitments to various bands of fictional adventurers;.Dan had been afraid to press on her too hard, to lean into someone he knew was already struggling with an anxiety cycle he could relate to all too well.

“In any event, I want everything to be perfect!” Jack insisted. “And someday we’ll all go together to Scotland and have our own little party. I’ll take you to the best bakeries. We’ll play in one of those sandboxes in the lovely public gardens that they have – and all three of us can play, someplace well-hidden and sturdy. I don’t want strangers trespassing on our kink, but if something goes pear-shaped, we can always say it’s for a video. I don’t want to risk people making gross little judgmental calls on what the four of us are doing together if we pretend we like bouncy horses for science!”

“Jack, I love you, but you’re giving me a headache,” Dan said.

“You, nothing, I give myself a headache! How do you think I feel?” Jack asked.

“That’s fair,” said Dan mildly.

“Don’t be mean about it,” Holly said. Dan didn’t think he was being mean at all, and started to said so.

“I don’t think abba meant to be mean,” Arin pointed out. “Nobody is. You guys are trying to be patient with one another, but this whole travel thing is getting you all down. It’s understandable.”

“Where’d all this insight come from?” Dan asked.

“I’m becoming wise in the way of daddies,” said Arin with mock gravitas.

“Ha ha,” said Jack. The laugh was a little nervous to Dan’s ear.

“Hey buddy, we’ll be at the airport in a couple of weeks to get you, okay? I love you a lot, and so does everyone else,” Dan said, putting emphasis on everything to make sure Jack knew absolutely how much he was adored.

“I know.” Jack beamed at the both of them. “I love ya. All of ya,” he said. 

Dan’s heart felt like it was glowing in his chest. He grinned back. “I love you too, Jack.”

When the call disconnected, Holly yawned hugely. “I’m gonna get into bed. Arin, where’s Ross?”

“He’s supposed to be late,” Arin said. “He told me to tell you to text him if you want him home earlier.”

“Mph, it’s alright,” Holly said. “I’m just going to end up curling up in a big ball and snoring the second my head touches the pillow.”

“Can I come curl up with you?” Dan asked.

“That was the plan. Arin can come too, if he wants.”

A little stab of jealousy pricked Dan’s heart, but he tried not to show it. 

Arin’s face was neutral, but clearly cautious. “I’m cool with it if you’re both cool with it.”

“Oh, sure,” Dan lied. He didn’t think it was cool – not right now, without talking about it – but he couldn’t bring himself to confront Arin until he managed to articulate his own jealousy to himself.

“Come meet me in the big bedroom at the end of the hall. I’m gonna grab a shower.” Dan and Arin did as she bade, and they were unusually quiet for the two of them as the occupied either end of the mattress.

“So,” said Dan into the chasm of awkwardness, “is Suzy cool with you spending the night?”

“Oh yeah. She’s doing something with Ross at the office.”

Well, that was an interesting revelation. “She’s doing VA for the thing?”

“I think so,” Arin said. “I’ve already done my part. Maybe Ross wanted her to do another take.”

“Maybe,” Dan said. Who could say? It wasn’t his place to ask; they weren’t his spouses, after all.

Arin shrugged off his jacket and settled back. “So what do you wanna watch tonight?”

“I don’t know. I guess we’ll let Holly pick, it’s her cuddle pile.”

Holly emerged a few minutes later in a chick kigurumi and slipped into bed, finding the remote between the pillows. She clicked through Netflix until she landed on Star Trek: The Next Generation. It had been ages since Dan had seen it, but he understood that this was Holly’s comfort food. She wrapped her arms tight around Dan’s middle and put a leg around Arin’s waist. It took her awhile to fall asleep, but for all of the misgivings he harbored, Dan found it easy to follow her into the dark of the night, with Arin in the mix quite literally.

He noted dimly that Holly was sucking her thumb, and simply filed the thought away without comment.

*** 

The next morning there were huge thick waffles to be eaten, and Arin was the one who did the cooking. Holly looked completely refreshed. She was talking about taking him on a nature walk.

Dan tried to calculate how much sunscreen it was going to require per square inch of skin. He loved Holly, but he also wanted to live a reasonably long life that included no further instances of sunstroke. Maybe he should invest in a bucket hat, like a real dad.

“I’ll go with her if you like,” Arin said. “Since I’m less likely to, like, evaporate in the sunlight.”

“Oh Dan, I’m so sorry – I didn’t think!” Holly said, flushing slightly pink with embarrasment.

“No no, it’s cool,” Dan said quickly. “I’m up for it. I promise I’ll tell you if I’m starting to droop.”

“Usually it’s you telling me I’m drooping,” Holly said. Dan gave her a disapproving squint. She laughed into her fist, happy to have the moment, and all of the playful power that it entailed. 

**** 

The trail was sunbaked, with bright golden light that seemed to hover around them. Dan kept slugging water, and occasionally he had to bring the entire party to a stop, but nobody complained. It was comfortable 

Dan came to understand the difference between a sparrow and a grackle, to get a robin to eat out of the palm of his hand. He made high chirpy notes in the back of his throat as one hopped along the tips of his fingers, and then sat fat and round, pecking away at the seed in his palm. 

Arin heard that sound. Amusement filled his face, brightening up his eyes and making him seem all the more devilish. “You sure you don’t want me to diaper you?” he asked, casually walking at pace, with Holly practically skipping in front of them.

“Arin!” Dan gasped. He was almost aghast at the idea. He was the abba here; Arin could do whatever he liked with Jack, but Dan had his limits. 

“Just wondering,” he said innocently. “You’ve been looking kind of… y’know, out of it all day. Thought maybe you’d like to have a little bit of TLC, diaper style.”

“That’s not my jam,” Dan said. Well, not as a habit, anyway; he wouldn’t mind Holly babying him occasionally. But she liked being a little brat far too much, and to be frank, he loved being an abba, no matter where his various curiosities might take his thoughts.

“Gotcha,” Arin said. He was blushing slightly, a little chagrined. 

Dan clapped him gently upon the back. “Hey dude, you do great with all the stuff you’re doing with Jack.” So it seemed from the outside, at least.

“Thanks. I’m still so new to it.” Dan had a pretty good idea of what they were doing whenever Arin was on the road with Jack, and how much fun they had when they were alone together. “Holly and Jack really seem to love you for this stuff.”

“I’m not half bad,” Dan agreed. “They love other stuff, too. You’ll see.”

“Yeah,” Arin said, his smile a little dreamy. Now that they were practically alone on the trail, he leaned in closer. “Y’know, me and Suz had a long talk about this whole dad thing, so you don’t worry about like things getting super weird with her. She said that she’s fine with what I’m getting up to with Jack, even with you. It’s not her kink though. She’s apparently into the harder stuff.”

“What kind of harder stuff?” Dan asked, and he couldn’t keep a thread of fear from his voice.

“Well,” Arin hemmed. “She kind of likes impact play. Remember when I said she kept asking me to go rougher with her and I just couldn’t do it?”

Dan rather wished he didn’t, but that was another subject entirely. “Yeah?” 

“Well, I told her it would be okay with me if she wanted to explore it with other people. So we’re kinda trading experiences, and doing the stuff we like with each other with each other.”

“Well, good! That sounds like it’s working out for both of you.” Dan absolutely didn’t want to picture Suzy in a harness, held still by leather straps, screeching while she was paddled. He was not into violence in the bedroom, but Suzy, who was wild and didn’t seem to have much concern about pushing boundaries, embodied a different sexual charge. It was the kind of thing best not dwelt on for long. It felt dangerous, like it could likely unbalance his friendship with Arin just by invoking curiosities he wasn’t sure he was ready to process, if he ever would be. 

At least Arin wasn’t pushing him on that subject; he was too busy thinking his own thoughts. “So yeah, the marriage is rock solid,” he finally said with a smirk. “How about your thing with Holly?”

“It’s… complicated?” Dan liked Holly, liked kinking with Holly – and liked doing the same with Jack. None of them questioned how they felt about the situation. They just let it happen, with a minimum of planning ahead of time. Dan had never been a plotter when it came to sex; it happened to him naturally, often when he least expected it and when he was least likely to be thinking about it. 

Did Holly love him? He loved her. She did in return, he thought. Jack loved them, too, and he loved Jack. How it all worked, or if it would keep working, was beyond Dan; he just went with the current of the situation and tried to keep himself afloat for as long as he could manage to.

Arin’s grin turned a little cheeky. “We trade stories sometimes, when we get home. It’s fun to see what we get up to while we’re out of each other’s sight. She still knows how to make me laugh.”

Something like bittersweet loneliness seized Dan for a minute. He had to wonder when his own Princess Charming would walk through the door – and want to stay. He loved Jack and Holly, wanted to be with them always, but he couldn’t just push Ross out of the way. He didn’t think Holly would want that either, and he loved them both too much to ever consider it. Could this relationship go on forever the way that it had? He wasn’t sure; he couldn’t be.

“So, how’re things going with your folks?” Arin, as always, knew how to read his mind effortlessly.

“Good,” Dan said. “Avi loves telling me about all the songs Spoofy recommended to him this week.” His smile solidified into something natural and real. “Holly bought a witch playset and a bunch of Legos for when Jack comes home tomorrow. We’re gonna have a little play sesh while I try to write songs.”

“Good,” Arin said. “Any of those going to be for Starbomb, or…?”

“Oh, as long as we’re on that subject–“ Dan grabbed Arin’s wrist in mock solemnity. “Please, for the love of God, write a song about Sonic. You’re a Sonic encyclopedia and I know I’ll cock it up if I do it alone.”

Arin straightened up and puffed out his chest. “I CAN DO THAT, DAN,” he shouted, almost echoing in the canyon. “I’M A LYRIC WIZARD, MAN. YO, I’VE GOT THE SKILLS THAT MAKE GIRLS JILL!”

Dan laughed so hard he started to cough, and almost threw up. That was just the way his relationship with Arin had always been, just this side of vomit. “I knew I could count on you. Hey, you gonna stay for dinner?”

“That’s up to Holly,” he said. “Don’t wanna intrude, and Suz has been bragging about this new Italian place. She’s been like, starving for the tomatoes. Jonesing for ‘em.”

“Alright man. Let’s just get to the end of the trail without–”

That was when Dan’s foot struck a root, and he fell ass over teakettle and met with the ground face-first.

*** 

Arin hadn’t laughed too hard at Dan while carting him to the hospital for a thorough check-up. Five hours later, Dan was lying on Holly’s couch with his foot propped up, the temporary owner of a sprained and swollen ankle, immobilizing him. 

“This is a sign that I’m not meant to be in nature,” Dan grumbled. Holly gently laid a bag of peas on his ankle, and he winced as the cold made contact. 

“Be happy you got away with a sprain,” Holly said. “I was out there walking in the back like that once, and I took a huge spill and fell into a hole left behind by a stump. I bruised my nose and got a black eye that look over my whole face!”

“When did that happen? I wasn’t on duty, was I?” Dan felt insecure enough when it came to his abba-ing, and this sudden revelation was a curveball. 

“Dan, this was years ago,” she said gently. Snuggling up to his side, she let out a heavy sigh and inhaled deeply. “Nothing that happens to me is your fault. You’ve never done anything to hurt me, not even accidentally. It’s alright.”

Dan let go of the breath he’d been holding and relaxed into her grip. It was alright if Holly said it was. “I wish I’d been able to help you out,” he sighed. 

“It’s not your job,” she reminded him. “I’m a strong, independent baby, remember.” She kissed his neck. “Go to sleep, Dan. The painkillers should go into effect soon. When you wake up, we’ll have some fun.”

“Can’t we have fun now?” Dan asked drowsily. But he could already feel the tough, determined, pull of the medication drawing him under, making him sleepy. He felt the warm weight of a blanket around his shoulders before sliding away into dreamlessness.

*** 

He woke up with the moon high in the big window of Holly’s house. Dan blinked and tried to move, but nope, his ankle wasn’t having any of that. “Hey, Hol?” he warbled, and he was rewarded by the sudden appearance of her in the doorway.

She was wearing a nurse’s uniform, the kinky kind with a short skirt and a tight top that pushed her breasts together. It was a sight that turned his dick to stone. All of his cosplay fantasies had coming to brilliant, realer than real life.

“Wow. These are some really great drugs,” he declared.

“Dan, they’re anti-inflammatories, not hallucinogens,” she said calmly, and approached the sofa. “This is really me all tucked into a PVC uniform.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Dan considered himself, and yeah, he wasn’t stoned – the familiar sensations were not invading his senses. He was comfortable, if distantly sore. “So why are you a nurse again?”

She flushed. “I wanted to surprise you, abba.” Her hand squeezed at his thin thigh. “I want to make abba’s ouch go away.”

Dan let out a stifled gasp. “Okay, baby. Go ahead and rock my world, I’ll be a good patient.”

She smiled at him and finger-walked her hand further up his leg. “Just lie back and I’ll take good care of you.” 

Dan was in a mood to be easily soothed. He was already getting hard at the notion of her ‘taking care’ of him – not that it took much. Holly’s hand was dick-teasing the hell out of him, and he had to bite his bottom lip to keep himself from groaning. She was incredibly good, smart and wicked-mouthed, with a devilish gleam in those big green eyes. How the heck did she manage to tease him like it was nothing and keep herself from falling over? It felt like Dan was going to jizz in his pants just looking at her. 

She was rubbing his dick through his pants while giggling. “Abba, your thing is getting all stiff.”

“That’s ‘cause you look so pretty. You’re such a good little nurse.” He was blatantly staring at her cleavage; giving up any sense of restraint, he shoved his face between her breasts and started kissing.

She let out a shrill giggle. “Oh, abba! Your whiskers tickle!” 

He pulled away; in spite of himself, he was still deeply invested in making this good for her. “They do? Would you like abba to go shave?”

She shook her head. “I like the pink marks.” She straddled his knees, and he could feel how hot she was through layers of cloth. Was she even wearing panties? Did they have little hearts on the gusset, where she was most kissable? Did they smell of her, all hot and sweet and turned on?

“Abba has to get his pants off.” Well, he did, or else sacrifice them to yet another awkward jizz stain. Holly’s hands eagerly slid down between them – she almost fell off his knees in the process of getting him undressed, but she did manage to do so, gasping when his cock emerged, hard and ready. Dan leaned back, panting, his head against the back cushion. 

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, which made Holly giggle.

“Oh my! Abba, you’re so big!” She hovered over his dick, not even quite touching it, making him growl and whine through his nose. When her palm brushed against the head his hips bucked up violently, making her squeal and grab him by the hair. That was enough to make him groan like he was being murdered.

Holly reached behind her for the closures on her outfit. “Let me get more comfortable too. A good nurse knows how to make her patient hurt a lot less!” The closures slipped, and she brought her hand forward to unzip her top, allowing her breasts to spill out from the opening.

“Oh baby,” Dan muttered, shoving his face between her breasts, making loud sucking sounds as he blindly sought after a nipple. He found one, sucking harder than he intended, scraping his teeth against its tip. Holly held him by the back of his head, cooing, squirming about in his lap. He switched breasts, moaning all the while like a victim. He felt like he truly was, caught between the heat of Holly and her panties, a hand still in his hair.

He could feel the lycra against his exposed dick, which was not his most favorite sensation. “Birdie, take this get-up off.”

“Yes, abba,” she said sweetly, and proceeded to grind against him a little longer, until he was leaking and desperate. Then she climbed up off of the couch and shimmied – with difficulty – out of the outfit.

That did break the mood a bit, sending them into paroxysm of giggles. It was tighter than Holly had anticipated, so he reached over with a gentlemanly ‘may I?’ to help. There was a lot of careful manipulation of zippers ahead of them, but soon enough she was in an overspilling bra and panties - the ones with the hearts splattered all over them, and a very big one pressed to the wet spot just over her clit.

“Aww, you remembered,” Dan said, sentimentally.

“That these were your favorite?” She blushed. “They were the last clean pair I had.”

“Well, the unintentional sentiment is fully appreciated anyway.” 

She reached up for his face, pressed a hard kiss to his lips, the end of his nose, each cheekbone. “I love you, Dan.” 

It wasn’t something she said often, but when she did it was like seeing the sun break through a bank of clouds. She was as sweet and loving as she ever was, and it was enough to make him want to break down and cry right there in her presence.

He got on his knees, ignoring the angry shriek of his ankle, and tugged the crotch of her panties away from her labia to give her a lick. That made her knees buckle and she shrieked musically, a perfect sound. 

Dan grinned wickedly and nestled deeper, nuzzling at her with the tip of his nose. She smelled good, hot, womanly and sweet without the heavy air of foreign perfume. He sighed and kept licking, until she grabbed his hair in both of her hands and moaned wildly.

Dan brought his hand up, parted her labia, and deliberately licked her clit. Holly didn’t swoon, just squeezed him harder and harder.

When she came, she soaked his face and pulled out a few hairs for good measure, but Dan was grinning against hot, wet pussy, basically planted in nirvana. He kept kissing her as she calmed down, until her knees smacked into his temples, which was a good sign that he should probably stop and help her sit down.

He also got them both water (slowly, very slowly) and slugged down a whole glass, letting out a happy sigh as it rolled down his throat. He didn’t want to wash away her taste, but pussy eating was thirst-creating work. He sat back and watched her red chest rise and fall, waiting for a signal to approach. 

It came when Holly grabbed him by the forelocks and pulled him to her mouth. The kisses were sweet but sloppy, a little desperate. Dan couldn’t get close enough to her, and he knew he was slicking her thigh up. 

When Holly tugged at the hem of his shirt, he pulled it up and off. They were bare skin to bare skin, lying together, breathing together, and he was squirming.

“Need a condom, Birdie.”

“You know I’ve got… protection. You can come in me without anything on, if you want.” She was red faced, her hair sticking to her lips, the bridge of her nose. A bare foot skirted its way down his spine and he shivered.

Dan considered the idea. He had absolutely no experience with barebacking; he was too afraid of getting a girl pregnant. But it was Holly; he loved Holly as much as he loved Jack, and as he sat there contemplating, she groaned under him and wiggled her hips.

“Please, abba? You know you can’t make a baby with me. Please?”

“I’m worried about hurting you,” he said. He was running the tip of his cock through the tangled strands of her pubic hair, biting his bottom lip and trying to keep himself from combusting spontaneously. “You’re so tiny, baby. What if I’m too big for you?”

She shook her head. “You’re not.” Then she started to giggle. “Birdie stretches, sir.”

Dan choked. He choked, laughed, and lost his balance, sliding between the slick halves of Holly’s labia and rooting himself between the softness of her folds. “Oh fuck,” he sighed, then added “shit” for emphasis. He let her pull him closer, rooting him to his balls in heavenly softness. It was wetter than what he was used to, maybe even tighter, and the sensations made him want to howl, but all he could do was whine through his nose and stare down at her.

“Is that all you’ve got to say?” she mock-pouted. 

He groaned and rolled his eyes as she squeezed him, and a little thrust making her moan and drag her nails down his back. They locked gazes and he pressed his lips gently against hers, taking a moment to savor the taste of her across his tongue. God, she was too sweet to bear. How the hell had he managed to find her, to kink with her so harmoniously? How could he continue to roll along carelessly through life, desperately trying to improve himself into the sort of man she deserved?

“Oh, abba.” She fluttered her lashes and bit down on her fist; deep within, he felt a trembling quiver, felt her squeeze tight around him. “I feel so good…” 

Then she was rubbing her clit, and trying to move in concert with him. Dan was halfway gone already, almost beyond the ability to control his own hips. For her part, Holly was riding him from beneath, all but using him as her own personal dildo. The heated wetness of her seemed to get ever slicker, ever sweeter, ever harder to resist.

Dan cursed under his breath and nuzzled Holly’s throat, burrowing deep into her embrace. He knew this was a losing battle; he was going to come too quickly, but he couldn’t resist the scream of her body.

“Come on, birdie. Come on, girl,” he muttered low in his throat. Holly’s hand grew fanatic upon herself; then she planted both feet upon the mattress and hunched hard up into his movements. 

“Oh,” she grunted, turning red in the face. Dan kissed her, praising her quietly for her hard work. Then her nails left his ass, and she hunched and grunted, hips rolling, as she came with a quick, stuttered gasp.

“Yes, baby, you’re so good, such a good girl for abba, so fucking amazing,” he panted.

“I’m a good girl,” she gaped. “I’m so fucking good – Dan!”

Dan didn’t think before following her; he only moaned softly and kept going, the heat and pressure colliding in the back of his head. He had no idea what he yelled when he came. Holly was there, her legs tight around his lower back, then holding him and mumbling soothing things as he came down.

Dan sloppily kissed her neck in a show of gratitude, slovenly licks that showed his ardent love without putting in the actual effort of opening his mouth wide enough for a real kiss. He noticed the patches of pink he’d left behind on her.

Holly’s hands rubbed up and down Dan’s back – her stocking hissed together as she settled more deeply between his knees. “I’ll go get you your pain pills in a minute. Just as soon as my legs stop being so weak.” 

“At the risk of invoking a mood killer, did I do that?” Dan asked. He sounded astonished – he felt astonished. It seemed to be incompatible with his own mental truth, where he wasn’t ever fully sure he could keep anybody happy, especially someone like Holly, who could turn his world inside out until he couldn’t barely remember how to talk.

“Mmm-hmm.” She pushed him back, uncoupling their bodies and wincing at the squishy sensation of the aftermath of their union.

“Do you, ah, have towels?” he asked, and regretted the question. That was definitely a mood killer.

“In the bathroom. I’ll get them in a little bit. I’m just a little… whew.” 

He could relate. He scooted to give her room to sit up, but squeezed her shoulder. “Sorry,” he whispered, and kissed her shoulder gently. 

“It’s okay,” she said. She sounded like herself again, out of headspace, grounded and nurturing in the way that she could be. She rolled out from under him to grab the pill bottle from the coffee table and shake out his dose. 

“I told you,” she said, handing the pills over with the rest of her glass of water. “I like the pink.”

“That makes two of us,” he said goofily. He swallowed them down, and Holly flicked the TV on. They settled in together in quiet domesticity to watch the Game of Thrones, shivering and cuddling, letting the night wash over them. 

“Did I make you forget about your ankle?” she asked softly. Dan’s face was buried in her heaving breasts, kissing along them gently – licking and soothing all of the pink marks he’d managed to leave behind.

“Oh yeah,” Dan said, and Holly let out a soft laugh in response, cuddling him close.

“Was I a good nurse?” she asked him.

“The best,” he promised, and noisily kissed the back of her neck until she purred.

 

***

His ankle hated him the next day, enough to leave him planted on the couch. Holly left, then returned with Jack and a large pile of luggage. Jack was nice enough to make sympathetic noises and played with Dan’s hair for a couple of hours as he sat on the couch suffering, eating matzo and wishing for death. But soon, the lure of Holly – more precisely, being teased by Holly – grew too strong. 

Jack had taken control of the situation; bigging up slightly to make lunch for himself and Holly, sandwiches and pudding. Dan had devoured his own messily – Jack had even put the kind of peanut butter he liked on the whole wheat bread he’d bought. 

“Why don’t you be little for a day?” Holly asked, out of the blue.

“Oh,” he said. “That’s not a bad idea, I guess.” Honestly, sitting on the floor playing with blocks and eating peanut butter sandwiches sounded like paradise, a perfect distraction from the endless throbbing of his foot. 

He glanced at the floor; Holly and Jack were sitting right there in front of him, playing with large, irregularly sized Legos, and for once they were working kindly in tandem. Maybe they were so worried about Dan that they weren’t up to causing mischief. “But who would take care of the two of you?”

Jack shrugged. “Well… I could try to be bigger. More of a middle?” The process of shaking his way out of his headspace was interesting for Dan to watch.

“Sounds alright by me.” Dan shifted to the floor very carefully, settling down beside Holly, and picked up three of the blocks she’d lain out before them. Yellow fixed to blue, blue fixed to white, yellow fixed to red. Nothing to it, which he supposed was the point.

It was so easy to slip away, to not think, to feel peaceful and almost entirely wiped free of any kind of strain or worry. Dan let his eyes slide shut and breathed slowly, in and out, keeping himself calm. 

Then he built a fort around himself, which Holly quickly broke down.

Evidently she wasn’t that worried about him.

*** 

He had a good time for awhile. It was easy to relax in little space; easy to pretend that he didn’t have any adult worries pressing down on top of his head. He could do as he pleased and shove Froot Loops up his nose, or watch cartoons, or dry-hump Holly’s leg, or throw a soft rubber ball around. He snuggled with a stuffed blue dinosaur and made it roar, until Holly shrieked and pretended to cower back from him.

Jack was the one who left the TV on while he went to the bathroom. He needed a break from the babies and, in this new middle voice of his, wasn’t too ashamed to tell the both of them so. Happy to be unsupervised, completely alone, and without any adults telling her the word ‘no’, Holly grabbed the remote control and turned the channels, until she found a particularly gristly horror movie.

As limbs went flying and blood spattered, Dan shrieked and kept shrieking, eyes as wide as the moon. The words he wanted to access wouldn’t roll off of his tongue, and he clung to Holly’s arm and pointed, his eyes huge and terrified.

“What the hell is this, then?” Jack asked, coming into the room while wiping his wet hands on his thighs.

Even if he wasn’t lost in headspace, Dan would have been frightened, the utter chaos all around him triggering something deep in his hindbrain. As he was, it was all he could do to let out cry more and louder. 

He was aware that Jack grabbed his shoulders and gave him a firm shake, but the room was becoming foggy all around him. 

He might have wet his pants, but he would plead the fifth if asked about it.

*** 

A few minutes later, when he returned to himself, Dan found himself lying on the hardwood floor where the carpet had been, allowing Jack to dip him while his jeans and boxers dried. The return of his normal headspace had meant the return of his ankle pain, and Holly had promised to baby him for the rest of the day – once he was all comfortable and dry again, and after the carpet got a spot cleaning. 

“It feels... weird,” Dan said, shifting experimentally. “Do you feel weird when you sit in these?”

“Sometimes. It’s dry on the bits.” Jack slapped Dan’s hips as he glanced at his handiwork. “All done! You look like a big boy!”

Dan sighed and rolled onto one side, so he could balance on his good ankle. “Thank you,” he said. “Now, where did I leave my therapeutic stuffed dinosaur?”

“He’s with Holly.”

Dan hobbled toward the couch, and sure enough, Holly was there. She wrapped him up in a heavy blanket and he snuggled up against her as the next dose of painkillers crept up on him. He let Holly play with his hair as he floated off, the world and all of its charms out of reach in his mental bubble. But Holly was good to him, and Jack rubbed his back until he drifted off.

*** 

Dan woke hours later to the sound of someone laughing in Holly’s kitchen. Turning toward the sound under a pile of blankets, blinking sleep out of his exhausted eyes, Dan wondered what he was disturbing – or what was disturbing him – as he sat up.

It turned out to be a party, of sorts. It involved Jack and Holly sitting in a circle with Arin, while Arin felt the two of them up, hands plunged down diapers while me mumbled soothing things to them.

Dan immediately tried to appear inconspicuous, which was categorically impossible for him, but naturally Arin saw him and let out a squawk of alarm.

“Sorry! I thought you were asleep!” 

The whole thing startled Jack out of his daze, but Holly was too deep into headspace to recognize what was happening.

“Daddy!” she yelled. “Why did you stop? I was just starting to get the good feeling and then it went away!” Holly was laying it on way thicker than usual, and Dan had to laugh at the pout in her voice, even though her name for Arin had sent something right through his spine.

“I’m sorry, baby girl. Daddy’ll help you in a minute.” Arin wiped his hands on his jeans. “You comfortable, Dan?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Just gonna go back to sleep ‘til the moaning stops.” Participation just wasn’t possible when Dan felt this lousy, and whatever scene Arin had established was not his to invade. He rebuilt his blanket fort and reclined, eyes closed and feet on the ottoman, until the familiar sound of Holly’s shuddering, orgasmic breathing and Jack’s loud cries announced that they were both done. 

Dan couldn’t help but peel his eyes open and sit up then, watching as they proceeded to take turns licking Arin’s cock. It didn’t take Arin long to get off, and he managed to mostly come in Holly’s hair, which earned him a squeaky ‘ewww!’ 

Arin laughed, and tucked himself back into his pants. On the floor, the three of them cuddled for a long while. 

“Do you need anything now?” Arin asked Dan, wiggling his eyebrows, but Dan’s dick was unmoved in his pants. For once, the sight of his loved ones cavorting in pure ecstatic pleasure had only left him feel twice as lonely. But he gave them a sweet, crooked smile.

“Nah, thanks, man.” Dan sat all the way up, rolling his neck and shoulders, making both crack. “I’m just gonna do the dishes. I need to move sometimes, keep my circulation up, you know.”

“Alright,” Arin murmured, watching him with an expression Dan couldn’t read. While he helped Holly and Jack get on the couch, Dan hobbled across the room to the kitchen and rushed water over the plates and bowls, cleaning everything slowly. Mindless tasks were good for clearing out his mind which was currently racing, overloaded.

Was he a worse abba than Arin? Did Jack and Holly wish they could be with him instead of Dan, who had to pale in comparison to Arin’s hearty, belly-laughing persona? Did they wish they had someone bolder, sillier, more daring? 

Depressed, Dan stood and washed the dishes, his mind empty. His little excursion into headspace was over, and everything he’d seen, good and bad, had caused him to come to a conclusion.

He’d have to talk to Jack and Holly about what that meant.

*** 

The next morning, they were more or less their grown selves, and Dan left the house as he usually did – diaperless, in other words – to do some chores before going to Space. He and Arin both did their best to ignore the awkward tension as they filmed a good long session before both of their stomachs started to growl.

There was fried chicken and mashed potatoes for lunch, which was such an unexpected surprised that he ended up gobbling it down quickly. He paid for it for it by burping his way through the second half of the recording day, which Arin was quick to seize on, and it was easy enough to forget the tension at all when they laughed with each other.

By the time he got home, he had half a dozen messages. Jack wanted to take him out to the park for the afternoon, which Dan immediately confirmed. Holly would be busy with Ross at some MMA thing, but they could probably meet up for dinner if things went well.

Dan texted her back a thumbs up, then changed for the afternoon and rushed to meet Jack, still half a step slow on his bad ankle.

***

Dan found his lover sitting on a swing, and Dan instinctively checked his bottom before giving him a push.

“Excuse you very much, I’m still dry!” Jack yelled, and flushed when a couple of children glanced their way. Dan waved them off with a bland smile and a laugh, then climbed aboard his own swing and let the world slip away as he swung toward the sun.

After he had his fill, he and Jack sat on the hobby horse, which kept Dan’s ankle elevated. 

“So I’m guessing being little didn’t really work for you?” Jack asked.

“Not really,” Dan admitted. “It was scarier than I expected. I got in so deep I had no idea what was happening to me, and then I started to freak out too much to listen to your help. So I guess I was meant to be an abba, even if I’m lousy.”

Jack’s eyes narrowed, just enough that Dan noticed. “Who said you’re a lousy abba?”

“You don’t have to say it, man. I can tell by…” Dan gestured vaguely with one hand. “When I watch you and Holly with Arin, I feel like it doesn’t come as naturally to me as it does to him. I should be making this more fun for you, doing things the way he does. I feel like I’m letting you down.”

“You are doing no such thing,” said Jack firmly. “We love being your littles, Dan, can’t you tell?”

Dan shrugged. “You wouldn’t trade me for anyone else? Not even if you had a choice between going to stay with Arin forever or being with me?”

Jack sighed, clearly exasperated at having to explain himself. “Arin is… Well, I like Arin a lot. I might even love him. But the truth is simple: Arin isn’t you, Dan.”

Dan’s finger slid off of the metal handle. He hardly knew what to do with those words coming from Jack. “What’s so special about me?”

“You’re good with your limits,” Jack said patiently. “You love the sound of bird singing and you take us out to for shakes and fries. You’re never a mean abba, even if we want you to be a mean abba. You try hard to make sure we’re getting off, and having a good time, and it isn’t always about the kink. You know that we need breaks, and you never get angry about it. You’re so good to us, and don’t expect nearly enough back in return, even though sometimes I really wish you would. And as much fun as we have with Arin, it means a lot when you’re with us. Who else remembers that I’m afraid of octopuses? Who else remembers how to cut the crust off of my sandwich? Who memorized the Spongebob theme and can sing it backwards and in pig Latin just to make us laugh?” 

Dan smiled, his heart full. “Me?” he asked, feigning ignorance. 

“Yes, you. You’re the best, Dan Avidan, and I want you to know what a good abba you are.”

Dan kissed Jack’s cheek. “You can tell me all about it later,” he said. “Right now, we’ve gotta get to Holly’s and spend a little time with her.” His phone beeped – an impatient text from Holly wondering where the two of them had gone to.

He promised they’d be right there.

*** 

At the restaurant, Ross was busy telling Arin about trying some kind of suspension bondage rigging. He was demonstrating with forkfuls of pasta, and Arin looked no more enlightened than he had when Ross started his explanation. Dan stayed quiet at a distance, just glad to listen until he was notice.

“…And that’s how I fell on my butt from twenty feet in the air,” Ross said casually, and sucked down another biteful of pasta.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Arin asked.

“As okay as he’s going to be,” Holly said. She tempered her smart remark by nuzzling Ross’ neck – bratty even when she was flirting. “I put a little medicine on his boo boo. Everything should be fine.”

“Thank you for making me feel like a baby, sweetheart.”

“Of course,” Holly said serenely. “You’re my favorite poopy-headed child and I will love you forever and ever and ever and ever,” she said. Ross wrinkled his nose and snorted. 

“Hi guys,” Dan said, loud and bright. That immediately broke up the meandering conversation and everyone stood and welcomed them with hugs and kisses. 

“How did the park go?” Holly asked. 

“We did some talking,” said Dan. “I think things are gonna be okay.”

“Good,” said Holly lightly. “I was sick of all the sourpussing.”

“Sourpussing?” Dan asked, amused in spite of himself.

“Well, what would you like me to call it?” Holly asked, tilting her head meaningfully. “Pouting?”

“Speaking of pouting, I’ve gotta talk to Dan in private,” said Arin. “We’ll be right back.”

“Ye-es, we sure will.” Dan followed Arin to the men’s room without question, leaving Jack behind to animatedly talk about what they’d done at the park with Ross and Holly. “What’s up, man?”

“Dude, how do you handle Holly when she’s little?” Arin said, totally exasperated. “I’ve never met anyone so happy to push somebody’s buttons, and yes, I see you thinking ‘have you met you?’ and I don’t appreciate it. Tonight was a nightmare. She peed on my lap while Ross was MCing the event and I had to hand wash it out of my jeans. And then she was totally not sorry – not even one little tiny bit.”

Dan nodded thoughtfully. “Yep, that’s headspace Holly in a nutshell.”

“But how do you deal with it?!” 

“Sometimes I don’t,” Dan admitted. “I’m kind of a pushover with them and I know it. And I guess they love me for that. But sometimes, when she’s a brat, she just needs a little time out. Usually restraints work. I’ve never seen her go into headspace in public like that before, though, so I don’t have any experience to fall back on.”

“She told me she totally gave you a hand under the table once.” Arin grinned. “Did she really?”

“Jerked me off into her napkin.” Dan shook his head at the memory. “Couldn’t you tell? You were right there when it happened!”

“At brunch a couple of weeks ago? Wow, I missed that completely.”

Dan snorted. “I guess I’m not one to talk about you being oblivious. I can give you a little lesson in how to tame the birdmonster. Just follow my lead…”

*** 

Dan didn’t make his move until they were deep into dinner. Then it was almost surgical, subtle as a moth’s wing brushing his cheek. “Hol? You look a little tired.”

“I’m fine!” She fussed over her hair, her makeup; not in the way that Suzy would do, but in a Holly-ish flitter, a songbird trying to groom its feathers back into some kind of reasonable shape.

“But your eyes are all drooping, and your face is getting pinker.”

She peered at him over her folded hand. “I know what you’re trying to do, Dan. It’s not going to work.”

“I’m not trying to do anything,” Dan countered. “I’m just pointing out things that I see. And I can see that you’re a sleepy little birdie.”

“You’re trying to… Trying to put me in...” She shook her head and leaned closer. “Is this revenge for the handjob?” she hissed.

Dan just smiled. “When have I ever struck you as the revenge type?”

She eyeballed him suspiciously over the top of her glasses. “Alright, I am a little sleepy,” she admitted haltingly, in between a big, wide yawn and a shiver.

“Why don’t you just rest against Ross while we wait for the check?” he said, using a soft inflection that he knew would push just the right buttons.

She nodded at the suggestion, leaning sideways into Ross’ chest. Soon she was making low snuffling noises and drifting off to sleep, fists balled in her skirt.

“You might not be the revenge type,” Ross said, as he gently took Holly’s glasses off to put them in their case. “But I don’t need to remind you that I am, and you will get yours.”

Dan just grinned and pointed his dessert fork at Arin. “And that,” he said, “is how you do it.”

“You’re both helping me carry her to the car for this,” Ross grumbled.

“A fair trade,” Dan agreed. 

Arin watched Holly sleep, a little bit in awe. “I wish I knew that when she was yanking on my hair.”

Ross looked at Holly sideways with concern. “She’s been going through a lot of work stress lately. I think she might be freaking out more than she’s letting on, and going little’s a good way to cope.”

Dan made an agreeing noise and ruffled Holly’s hair. She plunged her thumb into her mouth in her sleep. 

“Well, if the evening’s shot,” Jack said, “I’m gonna Netflix and chill after we take her back to the house. Are you staying in tonight, Ross?”

“Yep. Suspension bondage kind of left me feeling a little bit loopy.” Ross wound a piece of Holly’s hair around his finger. “I’ll watch over Hols while the two of you do your thing somewhere else.”

“The three of us,” Dan corrected. He shot Arin a smile.

“Thanks for offering, man. But me and Suzy have a lot of plans for tonight.” Dan must have leered without realizing, because Arin just shook his head. “She wants to go over some kind of change she wants to make for the cat’s diets. We’re hella adulting.”

Dan wasn’t sure that was the phrase, but he wasn’t one to talk. “Okay then. You and me, Jack?”

“Two for all and all for one!” Jack agreed. 

Dan dunked his fork into his crème brulee to finish it. He knew he’d need the sugar to keep up with Jack, and that Jack – bless his heart – wouldn’t give any quarter to him, promises of “Netflix and chill” or no. When they were done, they generously tipped their waitress and woke Holly with tickles. She was out of headspace again, a bit embarrassed by how she’d been before she went under, but in a lighter mood.

Dan drove Jack’s car back to Ross’ place; they dropped off Holly, then a few miles later dropped off Arin. That Jack and Dan headed back to Dan’s place. 

It was funny how empty it was, even with two people in there. Dan had liked his house, but it was better as a showplace. It was too big for one person, filled with stuff and yet half-empty besides the big white-curtained bed where he spent his bad days hiding away.

Jack kissed his cheek as they climbed the stairs together, undressing quietly, kissing gently and sparingly. It had been a long time since they’d made love alone, without kinks – just skin on skin, mouth on mouth, hands on dicks and arms around shoulders.

“I feel like bottoming tonight,” Jack said, as if observing the weather forecast or the scores in the sports section and not his preferred position.

“You want my sweet dick somewhere special, baby?”

Jack leaned back in Dan’s long arms, revealing a muscled torso and an amused expression. “That is the least appealing thing you could’ve said, Dan.”

“Was I not seductive and smooth?” Dan huffed when Jack laughed. “I’m trying!” 

Jack kissed the corner of his mouth. “Sure thing, Mr. Sexbang,” he teased softly. “I know you’re trying…”

There was nothing but the warmth of their bodies touching, the sound of two hearts beating; a lulling, quiet to the entire moment, held spellbound simply by the presence of one another. Jack’s mouth left bristled trails of red down Dan’s back. Dan knew he was leaving his own marks behind, and hoped he wasn’t causing too much pain. That was the last thing he wanted to do. 

A spanking or belting, of course, was a different matter altogether. But they both knew he’d rather die than cause Jack real injury.

The sex was easy and fun; Jack was a laugher in bed, loud and funny, complaining fondly while nudging Dan this way and that. Dan was getting better at sucking dick, which was something he never thought he’d manage. But Jack clearly approved of everything Dan did. He sucked Dan’s dick like he was born to do it, no teeth, just lovely, gentle touches and hard suction that made Dan squirm. His nerves melted and his heart pounded; he kept praising Jack through his nose, moaning, until he practically had to pull Jack off of his dick and get to work prepping him.

Jack was ready enough as Dan applied lube and fingers to Jack’s opening. Maybe he and Arin had been messing around while Dan was out of commission. Dan was surprised that he didn’t feel much jealousy in the moment – how could he, when Jack was writhing and sobbing against him, all but bouncing on his open hand?

He leaned in close, brushing his hair along the nape of Jack’s neck, Dan’s lips coming close to the shell of his ear. “Do you want abba to make you feel good?” he whispered.

“Yes,” Jack said, panting softly. “But I also want Dan to make me feel good. I want all of the yous there are.”

“That’s fairly existential for someone as turned on as you are.” Dan couldn’t resist giving Jack a squeeze before slowly sliding a condom down over his dick – stiff as a board. 

Jack squirmed happily on his back, waiting for Dan to approach. “Sometimes I can word pretty good, y’know! I’m practically a poet!” 

Dan let out a laugh and began to gently penetrate Jack, to his soft sighs and approving wordless groans.

The world was warm and quiet in the luxurious cover of the canopy bed, a scene fit for a romance novel with very thin pages. Dan counted the beats of his heart, timing his kisses to them. Jack rolled forward and toward Dan’s mouth to kiss back, tender little touches.

It felt like ages passed before urgency in him demanded faster movement; he pulled back his hips and pressed forward, again and again, making Jack gasp and groan. His hips bucked up into Dan’s big, capable hands, and Dan felt powerful and weak, the best abba who had ever been born, a sub waiting for the first spank to land on his vulnerable skin. 

They couldn’t keep the pace up forever, of course. Soon Dan was whining through his nose, biting his bottom lip, trying not to move too fast even as Jack grabbed up Dan by the hair and pulled hard.

Even as a top, Dan was needy, a little whiny – he let out a loud “fuck!” as his hips sped up. “Please, please tell me I’m a good daddy. Abba needs to hear that he’s good to his baby.”

“D-don’t you have this backwards? Why don’t you tell me I’m a good boy?” Jack laughed breathlessly. The laughter made him squeeze Dan a little, and Dan let out a happy groan, his slick fist working Jack’s dick with an almost desperate fervor. 

“You’re… you’re a good abba,” he panted. “A very good abba!”

Soon Jack couldn’t focus enough to speak, his shoulders hunching and his chest turning dark red. Their bellies slapped and were slick with sweat, and he scratched Jack’s chest with his body hair. Dan felt like he was burning alive, but even then he stayed in service of his baby. His mouth gaped open and he rooted himself deep as he thickened, and he squeezed the base of Jack’s cock just before he went off with a low cry and a series of hard, gasping pulses.

Jack followed behind him; his legs kicking involuntarily against the air as pleasure rolled over him. Dan watched his toes curl and continued to make soothing sounds, encouraging him to come, follow along into the darkness and lose himself in the sensations.

Jack let out a shout when he did. Dan felt the sticky heat of his release, filling up the center of his palm. He melted down across Jack’s heaving chest, and Jack held him in his strong arms. They were such a combination of weak and bold, strong and small, confident and frightened between them. Dan couldn’t know how he’d managed to get so lucky. He only knew that when Jack held him tight and strong like this, the world tended to go away.

That was love, the same kind of love he had for Holly. And they loved him even with his flaws, his oblivious foolishness, his babyish insecurity. What more could he ask out of life? What else did he need when he felt like a king, sitting among them?

Jack kissed Dan’s shoulder as he rolled off of and onto his side. His expression was loving, if a bit dazed. “Well. Fancy seeing all of you here.”

Dan laughed and reached down to pull off the condom and dump it into the bedside wastebasket. “Charmed, I’m sure,” he said, putting on a plumy and very terrible British accent.

Jack rolled with laughter, hand over his heart. “Ye gods, I need to teach you how to speak better Brit. You’d be picked out as a phony in two minutes!”

“I lived in France for a whole year,” Dan reminded Jack. “I can teach you how to speak French if you’ll teach me how to use a PG Tip.”

Jack looked at Dan sidelong. “You just steep it.”

“You mean it’s not a sex toy?” Dan’s deadpan face betrayed his confusion. Jack could do nothing but hold his belly and kept rolling in laughter, giggling and shrieking. 

And that laughter led to him peeing.

Just a little. Just enough to make Dan’s sheets a bit too wet.

Jack grunted in dismay. “Knew I should’ve gotten up,” he muttered.

But Dan just smiled and leaned in a little bit closer. “Tsk. Someone needs to be dipped again.” His voice was rumbly, deeper in his chest than usual – maybe Arin could teach him a thing or two after all

Jack shivered at his tone, but he was grinning. And he was a very good boy as he helped his abba change the sheets and get them into the laundry.

*** 

Maybe it was a little mean for Dan to give the Jack a couple of love taps on the bottom as he diapered him, but since he was going to have to go to the trouble of washing those sheets he figured Jack earned a little bit of bold treatment. He didn’t complain – both sets of cheeks flushed beautifully by the time Dan got everything all together for him and diapered up.

“Wanna go to sleep?”

“I was promised Netflix and chill, and only received the chill part,” Jack said.

“Fair enough,” Dan laughed. “Come on, we’ll watch something and tuck ourselves in.”

“Sounds splendid.” Jack found a documentary on organized crime in the early 20th century – “ah, your people!” “you’re right on both counts!” – and they got comfortable and watched it. 

Maybe sometimes Jack might want to be a middle, Dan thought, half-grown with some autonomy. Dan would be more than glad to allow him that. Jack was lovable and lovely and worth it. If they had authority issues or problems trying to figure out who was in charge of Holly at any given time, they’d talk it out like the adults they were. Most of the time.

Holly, on the other hand… well, she was mature and responsible when she wasn’t a little. If she ever wanted the same, they’d have to discuss it. But for the moment, Dan was content to lie there and cuddle Jack as the evening passed by in peaceful oblivion. 

*** 

The next day, he was sitting with Arin on his couch. Suzy and Ross were at a street fair for “alternative lifestyles” (Dan was afraid to ask, and yet knew somehow he’d end up getting all the details one way or another). Holly was finally free of both her bratty mood and work, and she was on her way to Dan’s house to celebrate, toting a case of beer. They drank a bit and watched a movie, huddled as a group under a bunch of blankets. Dan and Arin had made a blanket fort and Holly and Jack teased them all the while. The taunting persisted even longer and louder when he and Arin started making out.

“One day you’re going to like seeing your parents kiss,” said Dan, the word kiss broken in two when Arin’s hand slipped under his shirt like he was pawing for a bra that wasn’t there.

“Never!” the ‘kids’ chorused, in artificially high voices.

Sometime after they cried through The Fox and the Hound together, Arin got up to pee, and Holly snuggled up beside Dan and whispered into his ear.

“You’re the best at this. I just wanted you to know,” she said. She had insisted on playing dress-up, pulling out tubes of goopy children’s make-up – Dan could strongly smell the wax and non-toxic dye on her, which made him want to lick her face.

That was a thought for another time, however.

“Thank you,” he whispered back. “It’s nice to hear.”

“I feel like I’ve been all distracted, and it’s made me really bratty, even for me. I didn’t mean to leave you out of things, or get weird and mean. Everything’s just been... tougher than usual. But some things weren’t fair to you, and I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s alright,” he said. “I’m done sourpussing. I don’t want to put any pressure on you to be a certain way, or with certain people. The whole point of this stuff is for us to have fun.”

She squeezed his neck lightly. “See that? You really are the best abba. You put up with bratty Holly and don’t even complain.”

“I like bratty Holly,” Dan said. “I like all of the Hollys, all of the time.” And maybe he flushed around the ears, but she was feeling polite enough not to comment on it it.

That’s when Jack suddenly hollered “Dad!” beside them. “Dan and Holly are playing telephone and leaving me out!” He kicked against the blankets as a form of mildly angry protest, but his eyes gleamed like bright little stars, his cheeks apple-bright and his eyes completely mischievous. 

“Jack, do you want me to tie you up to a hobby horse and bang Holly in front of you?” Dan tried what he thought was a stern expression. He wasn’t sure if he was pulling it off, but he was committed. “I won’t let you do anything and I’ll send you home with a boner, in a diaper, mister.”

“Wow, that was mean!” Jack looked shocked for a moment, then grinned and tossed a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “Good job!”

“Jack, listen to your abba,” Arin called. “Hey Dan, did the tickets come through?”

“Yep!” 

“Tickets?” Jack yawned.

“Oh, the night passes to Disneyland I’ve been working my butt off to try and grab,” he said.

Holly gasped. Jack let out a loud shriek and grabbed Dan by the shoulders. He laughed, and cuddled them both back. 

“If you both want to go, you’d better go get dressed.”

They were off the couch and running to the bedroom in two seconds flat to change into something presentable to the public. That mostly revolved around items of clothing that covered their underwear.

Arin came out of the bathroom and gave Dan a grin. “And you were worried about being a bad abba.”

“Some of us weren’t born secure, Arin.”

“Yeah, about that.” Arin sighed, which blew a strand of hair up and over his face. “I’m sorry I was pushing your buttons. I was trying to figure out how… how all of this works, but that’s not a very good way to check boundaries. And I know I said you could tell me when I crossed a line, but I know you don’t like confrontation and I just sort of walked all over you, and – I should probably just say the word ‘sorry’, right?”

“Apology accepted, co-parent,” Dan said, saluting. Funny how emotional security could come out of nowhere and wrap a warm blanket around you. Funny how he didn’t even have to think about it, just be and breathe without, without questioning.

He was no substitute for Arin, but the inverse was also true. Perhaps more importantly, neither of them had to be. They just had to be, period.

 

*** 

It was mild and fair in Orange County. The sweet air of fried food wafting over the park to Dan as if with cartoon lines as the four of them made a beeline toward the FastPass line. Dan was careful not to stuff himself until they was finished with the dizzying parade of rides that loomed before him. Then the three of them posed together with big fat Mickey Mouse caramel apples, their chocolate ears propped just below their chins.

He and Jack were recognized frequently, but Holly and Arin had their fans too. They all behaved themselves and kept the kink to a minimum, not wanting to be the reason some family had to have an awkward conversation with their kids. Still, he patted Jack subtly, made sure Holly wasn’t taking in too much liquid – the abba things, but subtle.

He was wearing his special mouse ears, after all. 

They spent the whole evening this way, floating happily among strangers, close to one another. Late afternoon passed into the golden hour, which passed into the first purples and blues of dusk. Ross messaged them all in a group; he and Suzy were grinning next to each other, manacled to an iron chain spider’s web, getting their stark naked bottoms whipped. ‘Wish you were here’, the text said, and Holly rolled her eyes while Dan chuckled. 

He had no desire to be anywhere else, frankly.

Standing in the bright light of the parade, they watched fireworks bloom to life over their heads. Orange and blue and green and purple. Holly shrieked in delight every time she heard them, and Jack redoubled her shouts until Arin squeezed his hand. Then there was nothing but the cries of other people’s kids, and the popping and booming, the orchestral score. For Disney, it was just another Sunday. For Arin, Jack, Dan and Holly, it forged a family.

After dinner and a fourth ride through It’s a Small World, it was time to go home. They headed off to the comfort of the car, exhausted and lightly baked, even though the heat of the day had been long gone by the time they arrived. Dan took Holly by the hand, and Arin took Jack. The four of them made their way to the parking lot, and Arin and Dan tucked their littles away into safety before collapsing into the car. They were both dry and clean as boiled bones.

Even Arin was drifting off by the time Dan put the car in gear and began to navigate through the parking lot and toward the highway. He felt... powerful, in a very wholesome and fatherly way. 

It was as if he’d done something incredibly right, incredibly good, and the rewards were his to share in.


End file.
